Nautical Man (or, T.M.B. Pinafore)

So, as mentioned yesterday, I have been digging through old documents in the process of overhauling/updating my website, and one more thing I turned up was my Fall 2001 Pinafore filk:

Nautical Man (or, T.M.B. Pinafore)
to the tune of “Particle Man” (They Might Be Giants, Flood)

Nautical Man, Nautical Man,
Smartest lad in the Royal “N”.
What’s he like?
A pining tenor,
Nautical Man.
Is he a slave or an Englishman?
Can he dance a hornpipe or lead the band?
Will Josephine marry a foremast hand?
Nobody knows,
Nautical Man.

Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Triangle Man hates Nautical Man.
They have a fight:
Man overboard,
Triangle Man.

[HORNPIPE BREAK!]

Admiral Man, Admiral Man,
Ego the size of the universe man;
Usually kind to smaller man,
Admiral Man.
Articled clerk turned K.C.B.,
Knew better than to go to sea,
So now he rules the Queen’s Na-vee,
Powerful man,
Admiral Man.

Captain Man, Captain Man
Exchanged at birth with Nautical Man,
Offering up his daughter’s hand,
Captain Man.
Com-for-tably in the bourgeoisie,
Hardly ever gets sick at sea;
But then he uses that big, big D —
Berated man, Captain Man.

Nautical Man, Nautical Man
Suddenly finds he’s Captain Man;
Blissful refrains,
For he remains
An Englishman!

[HORNPIPE BREAK!]

I Enjoy Being A Geek

In the department of “stop me before I volunteer again,” I am officially blowing off a Shabbaton planning meeting at shul tonight in order to go see Juno with ablock (7:20pm at the Somerville). Go me!

I am also thinking, as I sit here munching on wasabi peas, that I should write a filk of “Burning Down the House” called “Eating Down the Chametz“. ‘Tis the season.

This reminds me that I never posted the song I wrote (with help from Tiger Boy) for this year’s Purimshpiel, to great popular acclaim: “I Enjoy Being A Geek”. (If you’ve never heard the original, it’s here; whether you have or not, you might enjoy this version.)

INTRO:
I’m a geek, and by me that’s only great!
I am proud that my glasses are like bottles,
And I’m longing to find a Jewish mate
For a love that’s like Tzeitel’s and like Motel’s.

I can charm you with scholarly discourse,
I can quote you from Torah or rabbinics,
But you ask me about religious wars,
And I’ll start explaining Windows, Mac, and Linux!

VERSES:
I’m hooked on the Sci-Fi Network,
I can read twenty books a week,
I love playing Fluxxx or Settlers
I enjoy being a geek!

I have a degree in physics
I think cloaks are the height of chic
Every summer I go to Pennsic [note: this line did not garner a single laugh, I was shocked]
I enjoy being a geek!

BRIDGE:
I own every episode of Buffy,
The Lord of the Rings was really great,
I stayed up all night for Harry Potter —
How I wish there would be a volume number 8!

VERSE:
From Vericon to Arisia
I have looked all around to see
Whether somewhere in Cantabrigia
There’s a boy who would enjoy
Having a geek like me!

(My character in the ‘shpiel was Esther the Second Gabbai… with a cameo by Tiger Boy as the Nice Jewish Boy who comes in as the tenth for minyan and sweeps her off her feet for a happy ending. Awww.)